(via davebowie)

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one thoughwhat am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)
After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.
One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 
She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.
Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.
Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..
And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one though
what am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)

After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.

One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 

She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.

Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.

Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..

And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

(via tom-marvolo-dildo)

c0mf0rt-z0ne:

allthickwomen:

Get it?

this is great

c0mf0rt-z0ne:

allthickwomen:

Get it?

this is great

(via tom-marvolo-dildo)

fitzefitcher:

daggerpen:

monicalewinsky1996:

Trigger warning: Breakfast

Holy shit.

reasons why we don’t make fun of seemingly odd triggers

(via zidane1862)

The safety of trans people > cis people’s feelings.

the-wayward-king:

phantompromise:

tycoondashie:

40niyr:

fenris-kin:

omnicat:

sneakymedulla:

aboysbestfriendishismother:

wait a minute

actually, no. don’t wait a minute. i will accept this. i would just clear the bullshit-factory from my mind, get sussed out, constantly have my shit together in every situation, and charged my entire being with creativity and awareness.
i am so down with this~

Yes please.

No more depression. No more anxiety. No more losing my temper at stupid shit. No more crippling fear for the future… None of it. 

You guys don’t think big enough.
Feeling motivated and pumped 24/7. Conscious access to your pattern-matching faculties and muscle and generic memory. Splinter your hemispheres and delegate different tasks for improved multi-tasking. Whatever it is you’re doing, from rocket science to playing Starcraft for a living, you’d be dominating the field in a decade.

not big enough.with 100% brain power you can learn anything much faster than anyone on earth and master it at a record pace, you could out program entire companies, out smart geniuses, never sleep as you can rest your brain in phases become the all powerful being.

every post on this site always ends with world domination has anyone noticed that

Lucy

the-wayward-king:

phantompromise:

tycoondashie:

40niyr:

fenris-kin:

omnicat:

sneakymedulla:

aboysbestfriendishismother:

wait a minute

actually, no. don’t wait a minute. i will accept this. i would just clear the bullshit-factory from my mind, get sussed out, constantly have my shit together in every situation, and charged my entire being with creativity and awareness.

i am so down with this~

Yes please.

No more depression. No more anxiety. No more losing my temper at stupid shit. No more crippling fear for the future… None of it. 

You guys don’t think big enough.

Feeling motivated and pumped 24/7. Conscious access to your pattern-matching faculties and muscle and generic memory. Splinter your hemispheres and delegate different tasks for improved multi-tasking. Whatever it is you’re doing, from rocket science to playing Starcraft for a living, you’d be dominating the field in a decade.

not big enough.

with 100% brain power you can learn anything much faster than anyone on earth and master it at a record pace, you could out program entire companies, out smart geniuses, never sleep as you can rest your brain in phases become the all powerful being.

every post on this site always ends with world domination has anyone noticed that

Lucy

(via tom-marvolo-dildo)

aresnakesreal:

this should not be as funny as it is

(via komradekrisis)